If like me, you wish that you never got frustrated or angry at “things”, then this article is for you. I grew up in a household where anger wasn’t accepted: good and intelligent people don’t let their emotions take over, so they’re never angry nor frustrated, and if you are it shows your weaknesses.
Few weeks ago, I unexpectedly walked into a bureaucratic black hole, and got completely sucked into a different dimension. If felt like being in a virtual version of the movie “The Terminal” (the trailer below will give you a good idea of what I'm talking about).
My most primitive self
Administration is definitely one of the few things that drives me crazy to a point that I return to a very primitive fight or flight mode. It is one of these moments that brings me back into what it's like to feel helpless, and to feel like I have no control over my own life and destiny to the point that I eventually felt like Obelix at the 6th minutes of this clip:
I am now out of this weird robot-slave experience of trying to figure out what to do for my visas and passport, and looking back, it feels like I had been possessed. My frustration with Administrative a pattern I’ve noticed before and know very well, so I had start working on this issue with a coach a week before, and we’d done a great job. I felt like something had shifted in me, and I was not getting even a pinch of frustration for the first 6 days of dealing with all the characters in the mad play of administrations. I felt like I was doing great, and then it happened. I lost all my spiritual greatness, and I was back to being a caveman fighting frantically for survival. As a result, I had no headspace to think about what was important to me, and I got delayed with my work: I needed to spend as much time as possible to rest, relax and recover the traumatic experience.
I had started preparing a radio show with Sandra Malhotra for 2016 (watch out!) and when I shared this story with her, she burst out laughing. Then she told me about how she had lost her “spiritual greatness” the previous day. Her story made me laugh. It is a lot funnier to see other people lose their spiritual greatness, than it happen to ourselves.
After she had shared her story, it was a lot easier to see myself from the outside and to realize that yes – as much as I want to be a living Buddha – it is still OK to be angry, frustrated, and to lose my cool. By sharing my story and listening to hers, I see myself better from the outside, and I can laugh at my anger and my frustration. As a result, I feel surprisingly closer to the kind of spiritual greatness that I want, than by stopping myself from ever losing my cool.
The problem is not that I became frustrated or angry. What drives me nuts is that I think I’m not allowed to get frustrated and angry. When I believe that being frustrated and angry is a problem, something I don't want, something to change or that I'm "too good for", I just feed the beast. When I do, I like to remember the follow quote by one of my coaches:
“What if the only problem with you,
is that you think there’s a problem with you?”
- Share a moment during which you lost your spiritual greatness